OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the day after is always just damage control
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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