I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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