Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
