You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize