What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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