so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
