my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
