not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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