Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
