is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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