This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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