first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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