if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She announced her abortion via fbk
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
