So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
