i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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