I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
