you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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