Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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