I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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