the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
