Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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