we made out on top of his cat.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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