She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
