I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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