I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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