So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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