Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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