tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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