I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
