Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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