Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize