i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
