Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
