How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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