no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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