from now on my penis is your penis
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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