your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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