I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
two words...techno handjob
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
