Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
