I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
