It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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