VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize