at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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