Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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