I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
