Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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