I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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