No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
