This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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