My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
