I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
