This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My pussy is not your playground.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
