It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How many fucks given?
0.12846
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize