sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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