Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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