Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
