Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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