She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I need moral support for this bender
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
