I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
