She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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