Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
