Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
