There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
